Ah, February, a beautiful month of love where some are in a pool of rose petals and champagne, and others are in a solitary state of affairs. If you are single, separated, or have experienced a recent loss, Valentine’s day can be a tough one. However, regardless of your current status, we want to remind you why this should be the month for celebrating self-love. 

“Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness,” states Psychology Today. The meaning of self-love will look different for everyone, however, when we think of self-love, we think of words like appreciation, compassion, commitment, and consideration - the foundations of any strong relationship. Yet, why is it that we pour so much into our relationships with others, but lack the same motivation and vigor when it comes to the relationship with ourselves? Cultivating this relationship with self, as we would with a partner, a spouse, a friend, or a family member, is integral to our overall happiness. Holding ourselves in high regard will influence all aspects of our life for the better. So let’s dive heart first into how we can all love ourselves a little bit more.

1. Cultivate compassion and non-judgemental self-talk

When we are stuck in a cycle of negative talk and feel angry towards ourselves, it is hard to nurture feelings of love and care. Just like harboring irritation towards our partner for not doing the dishes can lead to a fight, we fight internally within ourselves. On the flip side, when we accept our limitations and allow ourselves to feel without judgement, this inner battlefield becomes a metaphorical classroom where we are in constant learning and evolution. So the next time you catch yourself being angry for feeling sad, or calling yourself names when you’re unable to do something simple, take a breath and try to step off the battlefield and into the classroom. How can you have more compassion for yourself at that moment?

2. Stop comparing yourself

This. is. your. life. It does not have to look or feel any particular way, and it especially does not need to look or feel like your neighbors. By constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are fixated on what we lack, instead of appreciating the things we already have, or do well. They may be perfectly dressed every single time you see them, but perhaps you’re an exceptional daughter or are really good at growing herbs! We all have our strengths and shortcomings, and that’s ok. It’s time to put your blinkers on and drown out the comparison and feelings of lack and want. Just remember, your value does not lie in how you look or how your life looks from the outside. Focus on how you feel on the inside, as this is a geniune and true reflection of success in life.

3. A matter of want versus need

No one ever said self-love was easy. It’s a consistent practice, like training a muscle in the gym. But at the core of all self-love and self-care routines is prioritizing what we need over not just habitually giving in to what we want. Of course, we want to stay in bed where it’s warm and cozy, but what our bodies really need is to go on that walk before the kids wake up. Learning to stay committed to our journey of self-love means sitting through the uncomfortable moments when we want something that is not necessarily in our best interest and choosing to honor what we need instead. 

4. Make self-care a priority

We are so passionate about the topic of self-care because these little actions are the things that give us the energy we need to show up in life and stay committed to our journey. Self-love is how we feel about ourselves and self-care is the time we spend strengthening this love. Here are two great articles we’ve written on the topic of self-care.

Other activities include:

• Taking a digital detox
• Moving our bodies daily
• Eating a balanced diet
• Taking time to pamper yourself
• Meditation
• Journaling
• Goal setting
• Going to therapy

 These are just a few habits we can incorporate to nurture more self-love, but at the end of the day, you need to find what works for you. This Valentine’s day, we encourage you to be kind to you, don’t worry about what others are doing, tune in to what you need for the day, and do one thing that strengthens your bond with yourself. When love flows easily within us, this love is easy to pass on to another, making for a world not defined by exclusion and hate, but by compassion - and isn’t that a great world to live in? So however you want to grow your self-love, just know the world is better off for it.